Alpha's Remorse After Her Death (Amber and Julian) novel Chapter 207

Chapter 207

Amber’s POV

Roman’s words stirred some guilt within me, causing me to pull away from Julian to face him. In my rush of relief and my hurry to celebrate Julian’s victory, I hadn’t considered what I would be losing.

A friend.

I faced Roman though stayed near Julian, keeping him at my back. His arm brushed mine, offering me some comfort to face this conversation, this potential loss.

“The agreement only said that you would back off of pursuing me romantically,” I told Roman. “With everything we’ve been through together and all you’ve done from me since our first meeting all those years ago, I would very much like to stay friends.”

Roman had been there for me when I’d needed him most. He’d supported me when I had no one and no home to go back to. I had once considered him a dear friend and I truly did not want to lose him.

But neither did I want to be with him romantically. To me, he was as he always had been, only a friend.

Roman held my gaze for a long moment. I looked back, hoping he could see the sincerity in my words. Whether he did or not, I wasn’t sure, because, with a sigh, he looked down and away.

“I’m sorry, Amber,” he said. “I can’t be your friend.”

The words cut me deeply. After years of friendship, I didn’t see how it could be so difficult to continue.

“Why?” I asked him, needing the answer to truly be able to move forward.

“Because I’m just not capable of being what you are asking for,” he said. “If I stay in your life, I will continue to look for signs that you feel the same about me. I won’t be able to let this go, and it will break the rules set by the challenge. For both our sakes, I have to return to my pack, and we shouldn’t talk again.”

In that moment, I hated all romantic feelings. Because of them, I was losing a dear friend.

But I couldn’t force him to stay. I couldn’t ask him to just stop caring about me in that way. I knew, maybe better than anyone, that trying to turn off your feelings like that was futile. Else, I would have been able to move on from Julian years ago,

Instead, I was here, choosing Julian over my friend.

“I’m sorry,” I said, though wasn’t totally sure what I was sorry for. For being someone that he fell in love with, for accidentally leading him on if that was what I did, for not being capable of loving him back, of not being able to say the right words here and now to convince him to only be my friend.

I didn’t really have regrets. In hindsight, even with the knowledge I had now, I didn’t know what I would

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Chapter 207

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have done differently. But I still felt sorrow.

“I’m sorry, too,” Roman said. He gave me one last longing look.

At the same time, Julian leaned into me more insistently.

Seeing this, Roman sighed, shook his head, and turned away. He pushed his way through the crowd.

Rafael watched him go. “I didn’t even announce the winner…” Clearing his throat, Rafael said loudly, “The

winner of the challenge is Julian!” He kept his voice somewhat jovial for the crowd, but I already knew

his actual annoyance about everything. It was also clear, at least to me, as he looked at Julian, his eye

twitching slightly.

The crowd roared again. Julian waved to the crowd.

Rafael let him have his moment, but as the crowd calmed, Rafael came over and said, “I need to speak

with you both. Privately.”

As the crowd dispersed, Julian and I followed Rafael into one of the sitting rooms of his estate. Rafael

motioned for us to sit, but when he made no effort to sit himself, Julian and I glanced at each other and

wordlessly decided to stand.

Rafael considered us. Placing his hands behind his back, he said, “I’ll be blunt. I don’t approve of you,

Julian. Given your actions of the past, I don’t think you are good enough for my sister. If I had my way,

Roman would have pummeled you today and you’d be headed back to your pack with your tail between

your legs.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not how things turned out, is it?” Julian said pointedly, while crossing his arms.

The two glared at each other and it took everything I had not to roll my eyes at the two of them.

“I will remind both of you,” I said, looking from one to the other. “That I have not made any decisions

about Julian or my future, so this entire conversation is premature.”

Julian’s gaze snapped to me.

Rafael’s focus came to me much slower.

When I had it, I pressed, “I’m value your opinion, Rafael. Truly. And I’m glad to have someone, who I hope is my brother, looking out for me. I’ve always wanted family like that. But as I told everyone before this challenge began, my life is my own. The outcome of the challenge does not push me in any direction. What I decide to do with my life will be my decision and my decision alone.”

“So you have not yet made up your mind about him?” Rafael said, nodding toward Julian. “You seemed

certain before…”

“I want him in my life,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean I have made up my mind about him romantically.”

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Julian glanced away. As he turned slightly away from me, I couldn’t see his face.

Looking back at Rafael, I insisted, “I’m in charge of my own fate, Rafael. Even if we are related.”

“I understand, Amber,” he replied, and gave me a small, comforting smile that did help me feel better. He wasn’t angry with me, and I was pleased he could respect my decision here. “I’m sorry if I made you feel

that I was imposing my will on you…”

“I know you were just watching out for me,” I said.

He nodded, then glanced at Julian. “Sister, why don’t you head to the dining room and we’ll have lunch

together. Julian and I will be along in a moment.”

I wasn’t so sure about leaving the two of them alone together, especially with the way Rafael clearly

disliked Julian.

But when Julian added, “It’s fine, Amber. I’ll see you there,” I assumed everything would be alright.

“I’ll wait there,” I said. At the door, I nervously glanced back, but when no one said anything more, I

stepped out into the hallway.

Julian’s POV

I had no doubt what I was going to hear the minute Amber was out of earshot.

In front of Amber, Rafael was putting on a nice face, trying to be a supportive brother, but the truth was

messier. An Alpha is used to controlling all the people around him. This was something I had to unlearn

myself after I lost Amber.

Rafael still didn’t know. He had to learn it, too, through experience. I couldn’t just tell him and expect him

to learn.

So as he squared up to his full height, I did too.

We glared at each other, Alpha to Alpha.

Then, he said what I expected, “I do not accept you, Julian. For that to change, you will have to do much

to prove yourself to me and my family.”