I shook my head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “Thanks, but I want to be alone for
how.”
Caleb hesitated, then stepped aside. “Alright. Just… if you need anything, you know where to find
me.”
“Always,” I murmured before turning down the hall. I walked slowly, each step echoing in the quiet. My room was just ahead, the door slightly ajar, but instead of going inside, I found myself veering to the right. I didn’t question it. My feet carried me to Riley’s room as if they knew what I needed better than my mind did.
The door creaked softly as I pushed it open. Riley was asleep, curled up in his bed, his chest rising and falling in a peaceful rhythm that I envied. The bedside lamp cast a warm glow over the room, highlighting the coloring books scattered across his study table, crayons lying in a chaotic rainbow heap. I stepped inside, careful not to wake him, and stood there for a moment, watching him.
He looked so small, so untouched by the burdens that felt insurmountable to me. I walked over to the table and started gathering the coloring books and crayons, stacking them neatly. It wasn’t much, but it felt like the least I could do–for him, for myself. I sat down on the edge of the bed and rested my head in my hands. For the first time in forever, I let the silence be enough.
My mind ran wild, as it always did at night, replaying everything that had brought us here. The chaos, the loss, the heartache. And yet, amidst all of it, Riley had been my constant. My only normal. My anchor.
Sighing, I tiptoed over and pulled back the blanket gently, sliding in beside him. His warmth was immediate, comforting in a way nothing else could be.
“You okay, bud?” I whispered, even though I knew he wouldn’t answer. He was deep in his dreams, oblivious to the storm raging outside these walls and inside my mind.
I wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close. He stirred slightly, murmuring something incoherent, and I couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t even know, do you?” I muttered softly, resting my cheek against the top of his head.
“How much you mean to me. How much I’d do to keep you safe.” My voice broke–on the last word, but he didn’t stir. I didn’t expect him to. I was used to having these conversations in the quiet, speaking words I couldn’t say during the day.
“You’re all I’ve got now,” I continued, barely above a whisper. “It doesn’t matter that we’re half- siblings. Doesn’t matter what anyone says about that. I’ve been here for you since the day you were born. I changed your diapers, fed you, stayed up all night when you were sick. You don’t call me ‘Mom,‘ but let’s be real, I’m the closest thing you’ve ever had to one. And no truth can take that
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Chapter 204
away from us, Riley.”
My fingers brushed through his hair, the soft strands slipping between them as I let out a shaky
breath.
“I just… I wish things could stay like this forever. Just us. Just normal. No more running, no more looking over my shoulder. You deserve better than this life, Riley, Hell, I don’t even know if I can keep giving you what you need, but I’m gonna try. I’ll always try. You hear me, kiddo?
There was no answer, of course, but the steady rhythm of his breathing was enough. It was calming. soothing in a way that made my own heart slow down. For the first time in what felt like forever, I let my eyes close. Riley shifted slightly, pressing closer, and I held him tighter, letting the exhaustion of the day finally take over.
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