I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.
“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.
We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better.
I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.
“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.
I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.
“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”
“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”
Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s necessary.
“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.
“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.
Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.
The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.
“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.
“I wish I was there to see you”
“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”
I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

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