Chapter 173
It all sounds like what it is: weak. Selfish. Excuses.
And for the first time in a long time. I don’t have anything to say.
She sees it. Of course she does. Her expression shifts – brittle and flat. Then she yanks the pamphlets and the pregnancy test box from my hands and turns her back.
“Get out.”
My breath catches. “Tess, I’m sorry-”
“You can take your stuff. Leave it here. I don’t care.” She gestures to the mess on the desk like it’s meaningless. “Do whatever you want. Just… go. I don’t want to see you right now.”
Her words hit harder than they should. I blink. “You’re… you’re kicking me out?”
—
She turns, and for the first time tonight, she actually looks like herself – but not the strong, distant version she’s been holding together. No, this is the real one. Cracked open. Raw.
“Let me ask you something,” she says. “You’ve already been snooping around enough to know everything, so let’s just stop pretending. I don’t have the energy to spell it all out.”
I freeze.
“But I’ll give you the dignity of turning it into a scenario. Just so it stings less.” She swallows. “Let’s say I’m pregnant. And all I want is to
get rid of it. No explanations. Would you support me then?”
“Yes,” I say.
But I say it a second too late.
The pause hangs like a slap in the air.
–
She nods — just once. “Exactly what I thought.”
She looks away, but her voice doesn’t soften. “Do you know the first thing I thought after buying that test? I thought, Emilia would never understand. Not really. She’d say the right words – because she’s good at that – but deep down, she’d be thinking, ‘the baby didn’t do anything wrong.
—
She presses a hand to her face, like she’s too tired to hold the rest in.
“She’d think I’m a monster. A murderer. She just wouldn’t say it out loud.”
My chest aches.
I want to deny it. I want to say, That’s not true, I don’t think that at all.

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