Fake Dating My Ex's Favourite Hockey Player novel Chapter 196

“I can’t give up.” I say, shaking my head even though – deep down already have. But some things, you lie to yourself about just to stay upright. “If I do, that’s like giving up on the one thing I’ve always wanted. I want to be a mum. The normal way.”

“Even if the normal way isn’t possible?”

I glance at her. “Since when did you become the pessimist in this friendship? That’s my job.”

–

She licks cheesy powder off her fingers, totally unfazed. “Someone’s gotta use the brain cells you clearly left behind today. Be grateful.”

She pauses. Her voice softens just a little. “Look, I don’t think there’s any unnatural way to become a mum. Have you thought about adoption? You’d be saving a kid from the system. Racking up good karma points. Win–win.”

I blink, surprised. I haven’t actually thought about it. Not once. My therapist – who charges enough to feed a small village – hasn’t even brought it up. Has she? Maybe she thought I wouldn’t be open to it.

To be fair, she would’ve been right.

Still, I frown. Should I fire her for being lazy or just for being correct?

“I want my own kids, Julie,” I say after a long moment.

“How about I have babies and give them to you? Would that make you happy?”

I shoot her a look. “Don’t even joke about that. And get your foot off my dashboard.”

“Touchy,” she mutters, dragging her leg down. “But seriously, just think about it. I know moving on is hard for you, but you can’t keep living in waiting rooms. If one thing doesn’t work out, try the next. That’s how life goes.”

–

I glance over at her – all sunshine and zero filter. Julie Calloway isn’t just resilient, she’s relentless. Nothing sticks to her for long. No heartbreak, no loss. She keeps going. She always has.

Sometimes I wish I had even a fraction of that in me.

Maybe then, it wouldn’t be so hard to breathe.

I tighten my grip on the wheel. “You know it’s not that easy for me.”

The light dims in her eyes, just a bit. “Yeah,” she says. “I know.”

EMILIA

I don’t know how long I stand there, staring at the spot Diana just left.

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