Seducing my Ex-husband back (Claire) novel Chapter 16

Chapter 16

SLIPPERY LOYALTY

-CLAIRE POV-

The office still smells like bergamot and sage, just like it did two years ago. Dr. Elman hasn’t changed a thing. Same cream- colored walls.

Same stack of outdated Psychology Today magazines on the glass table. Same soft, annoying calm in her voice.

“Hello Claire, long time no see,” she says gently. “Tell me what I owe for this visit”

I sat cross–legged, my finger tipping the leather chair, my eyes fixed on Dr. Elma.

“I don’t know, just feel like going for a walk,” I said, which was half lie, half true.

Doctor Elma jotted something down on her notepad, before shifting her attention from her notepad to me.

“Do you have something that you might like to share Claire?” she asked.

I scoffed, shifting uncomfortably.

“What makes you think, I do?” I started. “My life is perfect, I am not the same old Claire who sat here two years ago crying my eyes out asking why I wasn’t enough”

I paused, realizing what I had just poured out. Doctor Elma smiled, and I suddenly hated how good she was at her damn job.

“Start smaller” she offers. “What triggers these feelings”

I ran a hand through my hair and laughed, it was a dry, bitter laugh. “A man. Always a man”

Doctor Elma didn’t flinch, she sat there, dressed in a cream chiffon shirt, her white pants perfectly pressed to perfection, her dirty blonde hair in a bun.

Her flat heel, swung in the air as she sat cross–legged from me.

Her glasses made her look older than 30, but she still looked sexy and professional.

“You must have seen the headlines, I am getting married,” I said slowly, my eyes now staring at my engagement ring.

“Congratulations,” Doctor Elma said, causing her to look up at her. Her eyes were friendly now, and I smiled.

“Alexander….he’s stable He sees me. Protects me. Makes me feel like I could build something permanent.”

“But?”

“But Richard still lives somewhere inside me.” I swallow hard.

“And I hate that. I hate that after everything he did, I can’t excise him completely. Like he’s lodged under my skin, and I keep scratching until I bleed.”

The room fell into silence.

Dr. Elman scribbles something in her notes. “Do you believe that holding on to that feeling means you’re betraying Alexander?”

“No.” I pause. “Yes. Maybe.” The truth is uglier than that. I don’t know how to not carry Richard with me.

“I see,” Dr. Elma said scribbling something down on her note. “What do you want Claire?”

The question hid me so hard, I stared blankly at Doctor Elma. What do I want? I wanted to see Richard suffer not give him room to make me feel small and stupid again.

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Chapter 16

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I wanted to break Monica till she begged and begged and then hated her life. What I want is…..To be free from this heartache and just breathe.

Then maybe, just maybe I would be able to return Alexander’s love and be happy, and build a life I deserve with him.

“What I want….is to be happy”

After the session, I walked without direction.

The summer air is thick, humming with sirens and faint jazz from the street corner. I ended up where I wasn’t supposed to be: My old neighborhood.

The townhouse isn’t even theirs. Richard and I had rented it during the first year of our marriage, before we bought the loft.

But Monica’s black SUV is parked right outside it now.

Of course.

A new life, layered neatly over the bones of my old one.

I stand across the street and stare. Every window is lit. Laughing shapes flickering behind drawn curtains. Maybe it’s friends. Maybe it’s family.

Maybe it’s just them, together.

There was a time I believed in justice. In healing. Now? I believe in what you can see. And right now, all I see is this: ‘They’re thriving.‘

Off my grief.

{Flashback}

It happened three years ago, after my first miscarriage.

I was hollowed out. Drifting. Monica came over under the guise of dropping off soup and distraction. She hugged me like a sister.

I thought I was dreaming, maybe a bad dream, because the pills I took had started to kick in.

Then, with that same sugar–wrapped venom she always used, I heard her say:

“I didn’t plan it, Claire. It just… happened. He was falling apart, and I was there. He always wanted me. He just couldn’t see it when you were everywhere–your love suffocated him. You must’ve known, somewhere deep down.”

I remember the taste of vomit in my mouth.

I remember the crushing silence in the house. And I remember one very clear thought: ‘She’s not even sorry.‘

I don’t realize, I am crying until the headlight flashes and a familiar car jerks stop beside me. The driver’s side door flies open.

“Claire…What the fuck are you doing here?”

Alexander.

He’s furious. Not cold. Not dismissive. Just burning. He crosses the sidewalk in seconds, gripping my arms with shaking hands.

“I have called you six times. You turned off your location.”

I can’t even answer. My throat is locked. He sees the tears. Sees the street. Sees the townhouse behind me.

And puts it together.

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Chapter 16

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“Why?” he asks, softer this time. “Why would you come here?”

“I don’t know.” My voice is barely a whisper. “I needed to see it. To see them. To see if they look guilty.”

“And do they?”

“No.” My laugh is sharp. “They look wealthy.” Alexander looks like he wants to drag me into the car and slam the door behind us. Instead, he cups my jaw, wipes a tear with his thumb, and says nothing else.

Back at the penthouse. The second the door closes, everything erupts.

“Do you have a death wish?” he snaps. “Do you think I won’t burn the entire city down if something happens to you?”

“Then maybe let it burn!” I shout back. “Maybe then you’ll stop trying to fix me like I’m some broken thing you can glue back together and show off at your next charity gala.”

His jaw tightened, a muscle feathering in his cheek.

I could see the restraint in his body, the way his hands flexed at his sides like he was fighting the urge to reach for me.

But I was not done. I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to.

The words spilled out of me, ugly and honest. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You don’t get to control me.”

That was the spark. His eyes darkened, and in one quick movement, he closed the distance between us. I didn’t back away.

I couldn’t. Some twisted part of me wanted this…wanted him….even like this. Especially like this.

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