The Lost Pack (Paige) novel Chapter 38

**Paige’s POV **

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Parker is already up, sitting at the table, with a cup of coffee in his hands. He looks up as I enter, his jaw tight, but his expression softens when he sees me.

“Did you sleep?” he asks.

“A little,” I say honestly, grabbing one of the mugs from the shelf. I pour myself a coffee and lean against the counter, suddenly unsure what I’m doing.

He watches me for a minute, then says, “Is Rye okay?”

I nod. “He’s still out cold. He needed it.”

“I’m glad he came to bed with you,” Parker says quietly. “You both needed that. Some kind of normalcy.”

I flinch at the word because normal feels like a fantasy right now.

“Is Remy…” I trail off, not sure what I want to ask. Is he mad? Did he leave? Is he still feeling the bond?

“He’s out running patrols. He needed to burn it off,” Parker says, saving me from having to finish.

I nod, wrapping both hands around the mug and trying to ignore how awkward this feels.

“Paige,” Parker says, softer now. “You don’t have to say anything yet. We don’t have to talk about what

happened last night or about what you’re feeling.”

I meet his eyes, and it’s so hard not to get lost in them.

“But it’s real, isn’t it?” I whisper. “All of it.”

He nods once.

“I wish it weren’t,” I say. “Not because I don’t care about you or Remy, but because I’m not built for this. I don’t know how to be someone’s mate, let alone four people’s. I’m just… trying to be a good mum. Trying to keep Jaxon safe. Now I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction. My head was such a mess yesterday, and now that I know why, it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he says. “Let us do all the work, we will figure it out. All you need to do is follow your heart and be honest with us. That’s all we need.”

“I wasn’t honest with Ryder. I didn’t tell him about you and Remy.”

“You’re not ready,” Parker says gently. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re surviving the best way you know how, he’ll understand. Plus, last night wasn’t a good time, he needed rest, not more complications.”

I take a long sip of coffee, my stomach doing somersaults.

“I think I need some air,” I breathe.

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Parker stands, grabbing a hoodie off the back of the chair. “I’ll come with you.”

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We sit out on the porch with our coffee, looking out at the rising sun. The morning air is cool, and Parker covers my bare legs with the hoodie he’s brought with him. I don’t speak, just smile at him. He’s so thoughtful, always ready to give me exactly what I need without me having to ask.

My mind buzzes with everything. Jaxon, upstairs, sleeping happily with no idea of the danger around him. Callen, who can always make me laugh no matter the circumstances and is currently clawing his way back to us from the brink of death. My heart aches for him. I have to see him today to apologise for how I treated him right before he was attacked.

Then there’s Ryder. My first love, the man who broke my heart but is determined to stitch it back together

and be the father my son deserves. Remy, out there now, keeping us all safe despite me flipping his life.

upside down. Who somehow sets me on fire in a way I can’t explain every time I look at him.

And Parker. Who sits beside me, close but not touching, and it’s suddenly too much and not enough all at

once. He makes me feel like I can breathe again. Like I’m not alone, even in all this mess. He soothes my soul and makes me feel safe just by being near me.

He watches me as if he already knows the choice I haven’t made yet, and like he’s willing to wait forever

for me to get there.

“Thank you,” I say, my voice quieter than I meant.

“For what?” he asks, tilting his head.

“For being here. For not rushing me. For not making me feel like I have to be anything more than I am right

now.”

His eyes hold mine. “You don’t know how strong you already are, do you?”

I let out a shaky breath. “I feel like I’m coming apart.”

“Then let me hold the pieces for you until you’re ready to put them back.”

His words touch something deep inside me, and before I can think, I turn toward him, our knees brushing.

His gaze drops to my mouth, and I feel it like a physical touch. My heart slams in my chest.

He leans in slightly, the air between us charged, magnetic. I don’t move away.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispers. “But I won’t… not unless you ask me to.”

I

“Parker…” I whisper, but I don’t even know if it’s a warning or a plea.

He lifts a hand, brushing a piece of hair from my face, and my breath catches. His fingers linger against my cheek, warm and steady.

We’re so close. I can feel the heat of his body, the tension crackling in the space between us. His lips are just inches from mine, and I want to close the gap. I want to know what it feels like when he kisses me with all that quiet intensity he keeps hidden behind his calm exterior.

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I’m about to say the words, to tell him to kiss me when his eyes flick towards the house, and he pulls back slowly, his hand falling away from my face.

“Jax is awake,” he says softly.

I nod, clearing my throat. “I should go check on him.”

The spell he had me under might have just broken, but I still feel it humming beneath my skin.

Parker swallows hard. “Yeah. Of course.”

I step back inside. My heart is still beating for the kiss that almost happened, and for the man who didn’t

take it without my permission.

Jaxon’s voice is a sleepy mumble from the top of the stairs. “Mummy?”

He’s standing there, his hair sticking up wildly, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand.

“Hey, baby,” I whisper, as he makes his way down the stairs.

I crouch down and open my arms. He runs into them, all warm and sleepy as he snuggles into me.

“Did you have a good sleep?” I ask as I stand with him in my arms.

“Yeah,” he says with a yawn. He pulls back enough to look at me, then frowns. “You look tired, Mummy.”

“So do you,” I smile.

He shrugs and leans his head against my shoulder again, content just to be held, and for a minute that’s all I do. I breathe him in and just enjoy the cuddle, because this is what matters. Not the chaos inside my head, not the mate bonds that I don’t understand, or the pull that keeps twisting me in different directions.

Jaxon is my anchor. He’s my why.

Parker steps back inside, his footsteps quiet. “Morning, little man.”

Jaxon lifts his head with a sleepy grin and turns to face him. “Hi, Parker.”

“Are you hungry?”

Jaxon nods enthusiastically, and Parker gives me a nod before he heads toward the kitchen, pulling out a

pan.

I carry Jaxon to the living room and sit him on the couch, tucking a blanket around him, and put on one of his favourite cartoons on the TV so I can help with breakfast.

Back in the kitchen, I find Parker already cracking eggs.

“You okay?” he asks without looking over.

I grab the bread and start popping slices into the toaster. “Yeah. I think I just needed a minute.” Our hands bump at the edge of the counter, and my chest tightens. My body hasn’t forgotten what almost happened outside. Neither has he. I can feel the tension radiating from him even though his expression

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stays calm.

“Have you heard from Callen this morning?” I ask.

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Parker shakes his head. “Remy checked in on him on his way to patrol. He said he was still sleeping but healing, and his colour was better.”

I nod. “So this wolfsbane… it’s toxic to you?”

“Yes, it’s not something we can recover from alone. It’s toxic to you too, so don’t be touching it.”

“I don’t even know what it is,” I shrug.

“A wildflower. It’s pretty common and doesn’t really do anything unless we ingest it, or it gets into our bloodstream. The hunters like to make darts from it, or coat their knives in it if they want to draw out a

death.”

“Lovely,” I say with a grimace.

We work in companionable silence for a while, and I’m grateful for it. Because my thoughts are anything

but quiet.

There’s still heat under my skin from that almost–kiss, a pull that hasn’t let up. I can still feel the ghost of his fingers on my cheek. The weight of his gaze. The desire that was building without permission.

He didn’t kiss me because I didn’t say the words. I wanted him to, but he didn’t.

I feel like Parker truly sees me, not just the mate bond, not just the desire, but the part of me that’s afraid, and he respects it. He respects me. That makes something in my chest ache.

He flips the eggs in the pan, then glances over at me with a faint smile. “You’re thinking too loudly.”

I huff a quiet laugh. “Sorry. I’ll try to think quieter.”

“Don’t,” he says, passing me a plate. “I wish I could really hear them, it would make it so much easier for me to help you navigate all this.”

I glance at him, the tug in my chest growing heavier.

How did this happen? How does someone I barely know become someone I don’t want to imagine my life

without?

We move around each other easily, sliding toast onto plates, pouring juice, plating eggs, all while the weight of what almost happened plays on repeat in my mind.

Parker passes me a fork, our fingers brushing again, and this time I don’t pull away. I just hold his gaze a second longer than necessary and let the moment settle between us like a quiet promise.

One I’m not ready to make, but one I don’t want to walk away from either.

I know that before I make any big decisions, I need to know more. I need to know exactly what it is I’m signing up for, and out of the four of them, there’s one who I feel safest to have that conversation with.

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“Parker, later, if we get some time alone. Can you explain how a mate bond is completed, and how it will

affect me?” I ask.

Parker looks temporarily stunned and glances around nervously before he nods. “Of course.”

N.O Darling

Sorry for the lack of updates. I have had a migraine and had to limit my screen time for a couple of days. Thank you for all your support

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