The Lycan King's Outcast Omega (by Cara Anderson) novel Chapter 105

Alaric

The black formal clothes feel like a prison as I stare at my reflection. My father’s memorial service begins in an hour, and I still can’t make myself move from this spot.

“My son.” Mother’s voice makes me turn from the window where I’ve been staring unseeing at the gathering crowd below. She looks smaller somehow, grief making her usually perfect posture wilt slightly. “The ceremonial guards are assembled. They await your approval for the procession order.”

“Let Garrett handle it.” I can’t meet her eyes, can’t bear to see her pain.

“Alaric.” She moves closer, her hand reaching for mine but stopping short when I tense. “He was so proud of you. Even at the end-‘

“Don’t.” The word comes out harsher than intended. “Just… don’t.”

“You’ll be there?” Her voice trembles slightly, and something in my chest cracks at the sound. “The pack needs to see their Alpha’s strength today.”

I nod, letting her believe the lie because it’s easier than admitting the truth: I’m a coward. She presses a kiss to my cheek before leaving, and the gentle gesture feels like claws in my heart. One more person I’m failing.

Through our bond, I feel Sage reaching for me again, but I slam my walls up higher. I can’t handle her gentle understanding, her attempts to help. Can’t bear to see forgiveness in those violet eyes when I don’t deserve it.

My claws dig into the dresser as another wave of guilt crashes over me. Every time I close my eyes, I see him falling. See the satisfaction in his face as he took that blow meant for me. The one time I truly needed to be strong enough, and I failed him completely.

“You can’t miss this.” Garrett’s voice makes me turn. He stands in my doorway, watching me with that mix of concern and resignation I’ve grown to hate. “The pack needs to see their Alpha honoring his father.

“The pack needs a king who didn’t get their previous Alpha killed.” The words taste like ash.

“That’s not what happened and you know it.” He moves closer, ignoring my warning growl. “He made his choice. He died protecting-”

“Don’t.” The word comes out more snarl than speech. “Just don’t.”

“This isn’t what he would have wanted,” Garrett presses, following me as I pace the room. “Perseus believed in duty above all else-”

“And look where that got him.” I round on my Beta, power rolling off me in waves. “Dead on the northern ridge because his son wasn’t strong enough to

“Stop.” Garrett’s voice cracks like a whip. “You don’t get to diminish his choice. He died protecting you because that’s what fathers do.”

“Then he was a fool.”

Chapter 105

+25 BONUS

“No.” Garrett grabs my arm to still my pacing despite the way my chest rumbles in warning. “He was a father who loved his son more than his own life. And you’re spitting on that sacrifice by hiding up here while your mother and sister face this alone.”

The truth in his words cuts deep, but I can’t face it. Can’t face any of it. So I pull my arm free and walk away, letting him see exactly what kind of coward their king really is.

“Alaric.” Now Iris appears behind him, her face tight with grief and worry. When did they start working together to manage me? “Please. Mother needs you there. The pack needs-”

“The pack needs better than what they got.” I refuse to look at her, unable to face their concern. “Go. Handle the service. Make whatever excuses you need to.”

“Brother-”

“I said go!”

They leave, but not before I catch Iris’s broken expression. Another failure to add to my growing list – I can’t even be there for my sister while she grieves.

The mate bond pulses with Sage’s worry, but I notice she doesn’t come to try convincing me. Smart of her, really. Why would she, after how many times I’ve pushed her away? After how coldly I’ve treated her attempts to help?

Part of me wants to go to her, to let her gentle hands and soft voice ease this rage burning inside me. But I don’t deserve that comfort. Don’t deserve anything but this guilt eating me alive.

Instead of heading to the memorial, I find myself walking toward the northern ridge. Toward the spot where he fell. Where he died because I wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t enough.

The ground still shows signs of battle – torn earth, broken trees, patches where nothing will grow where corrupted blood soaked the soil. But it’s the memories that make this place unbearable. The sound of his last breath. The way his eyes held only satisfaction as he died for me. As if I was worth such a sacrifice.

I know my absence will be noted. Know the nobles will whisper about the Lycan King too weak to even attend his father’s memorial. Know my mother will make excuses while hiding her own pain at my failure.

But I can’t face their grief when I caused it. Can’t stand in front of my pack and pretend to be the strong Alpha they need when I’m falling apart inside. Can’t look at my mother’s tears or my sister’s pain and know it’s all my fault.

So I stay here, alone with my guilt, and try not to feel Sage’s desperate attempts to reach me through our bond. Try not to remember how it felt to have her back in my arms after nearly losing her in that battle. Try not to think about how many more people I’ll fail before this is over.

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