“Then you should do it,” I said, even as I felt my wolf claw at my insides like she was going insane. “If that’s what you truly want.”
“Really? You don’t think it’s foolish?”
I studied her eager face for a moment, considering her question. Anya was pretty in a wholesome way, with bright eyes and a quick smile. She was kind and hardworking, and she seemed to care about the pack. Maybe she was too good for Alexander, but she would make a good Luna with the proper training.
“I think you’d make a good Luna,” I said with a slight smile, which was true. I also didn’t think that much of it; after all, just because Alexander was allowing anyone to join didn’t necessarily mean he would let anyone but the nobility make it to the next round.
He was only opening the applications to the public to help his image. I was sure of it. But I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I decided not to say that to Anya.
Anya beamed. “Thank you. That means a lot coming from you.”
“From me?”
“You’re so composed and confident. I’ve seen how you handle the heir when he’s fussy. You have this… presence about you. Like you were born to be in charge.”
If only she knew.
“But seriously,” Anya continued, “you should consider entering. You’d have a real chance.”
I shook my head. “I’m not interested.”
“But why not? You’re single, you’re the right age, and like I said, you’re beautiful. Plus you already have a relationship with Lucien.”
“I’m just not interested,” I repeated firmly.
Anya looked like she wanted to push the issue, but Lucien tactfully chose that moment to start fussing. I used the distraction to escape the conversation and took my son to the quiet sitting room to feed him.
The rest of the day passed quickly and without incident. Lucien was getting stronger every day, but he was still so small. He still needed his oxygen tubes at night.
As I cared for my son, I tried not to think about the Luna Trial. I tried not to picture some stranger holding my son, singing him lullabies, tucking him into the crib Alexander had built.
My wolf was inconsolable, though. Every time I pushed down thoughts of the trial, she pushed back harder.
Eventually, I grew so frustrated with her that I blocked her out entirely. I would not waste what precious few days I had left with my son worrying about the trial, and that was that. I wouldn’t enter, I wouldn’t dwell on it, and I certainly wouldn’t pine for a man who couldn’t even be bothered to grieve me.
That night, I was walking back to my room after checking on Lucien one last time when I nearly collided with
1/3
Chapter 255
Alexander in the hallway. He was coming out of his office, looking tired and rumpled as usual.
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