Chapter 325 A secret
Mia’s POV
Getting three children settled for sleep was like conducting an orchestra where all the musicians were four years old and had very strong opinions about their instruments. Madison needed extra reassurance that she could wake me up if she was scared. Alexander wanted to make sure Gas knew where everyone was sleeping so he wouldn’t get confused in the dark. Ethan had concerns about the fairness of pillow distribution.
I read them three books–one about a bear family, one about brave mice, and one about a little girl who traveled to space. Madison listened to each story with complete focus, as if she were memorizing them.
“Do you think the space girl missed her family when she was on other planets?” Madison asked as I
closed the last book.
“I think she probably did,” I said. “But I think she knew they were thinking about her and loving her even when they were far apart.”
“Even if she couldn’t call them or send letters?”
“Love sometimes doesn’t need phones or letters. It just exists between people who care about each other.”
Madison thought about this. “So my daddy still loves me even though he’s in heaven?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “And that love doesn’t go away just because someone isn’t here anymore.”
Alexander sat up suddenly. “Madison, do you want to know a secret?”
“Alexander,” I warned, recognizing the tone that usually preceded either brilliant insights or complete disasters.
“It’s a good secret,” he said quickly. “Madison, we used to have a daddy too, but he had to go away.‘
My heart ached. I couldn’t think about Kyle right now.
“Did he die like mine?” Madison asked.
“No,” Ethan said quietly. “He just… left.”
Madison absorbed this. “That’s different sad,” she said.
“Yeah,” Alexander agreed. “It’s different sad. But you know what? We’re still okay. We have Mom and each other and Gas and Uncle Thomas and Grandma Sarah and Uncle Nate who lives far away
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but sends us dog pictures.”
“And now we have you,” Ethan added. “If you want to be in our family.”
Madison looked around at all of us–me sitting cross–legged on my mattress, the twins in their matching pajamas, Gas sprawled across the foot of Alexander’s bed like a furry guardian.
“I want to be in your family,” she said.
“Then it’s official,” Alexander declared. “Madison is our temporary sister until the grown–ups figure out the rest of the stuff.”
I turned off the overhead light, leaving just the small lamp in the corner that cast everything in warm, golden shadows. The children’s breathing gradually slowed and deepened, but I could tell Madison was still awake by the way she held herself–alert and listening, even lying down.
“Mia?” she whispered.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I’m scared I won’t remember my daddy’s voice.”
My throat tightened. “What do you remember about it?”
“He used to sing to me. Before he got sick. He sang songs about sunshine and about how I was his brave girl.”
“That sounds beautiful.”
“What if I forget?”
I sat up, looking over at her small form curled on the mattress. “Madison, would you like me to help you write down some of the things you remember about your daddy? So you can keep them safe?”
“Could we do that?”
“Tomorrow, if you want. We could make a book about all your favorite memories of him.”
“And maybe draw pictures?”
“Definitely pictures.”
She was quiet for longer this time, and I thought she might have fallen asleep. But then she spoke again.
“Mia? Do you think my daddy would like that I’m staying with your family?”
“I think your daddy would be very proud of how brave you’re being,” I said. “And I think he’d be
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happy that you’re somewhere safe with people who care about you.”
“Okay,” she said, and finally her breathing began to even out.
But I stayed awake long after all three children had fallen asleep, listening to their gentle breathing and watching the way the streetlight outside cast patterns on the ceiling.
Life was too complicated. I was exhausted down to my bones
The exhaustion went deeper than tired.
Somehow, lying there listening to three children breathe in the darkness, I felt more grounded than I had in weeks. This was something I could do.
I must have dozed off, because I was awakened by the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. The display showed 11:47 PM and an unknown number. I grabbed it quickly before it could wake the children.
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