Winning the Heir Who Bullied Me novel Chapter 186

Chapter 186

NATHAN’S POV

One thing has always been clear when it comes to April Farrah–she drives me crazy.

And hearing her pour out her broken heart drives me crazy. It snaps the frayed thread of my restraint, and there’s not a single self- preservative thought in my head as I surge forward and kiss her.

I feel, rather than hear, her gasp of surprise. She stiffens against me, and I know her eyes are probably blown wide.

But I don’t pull back. I cup her face in my hands, feeling the warmth as her cheeks heat up when I deepen the kiss.

And then, she leans into me.

My heart soars high above the clouds as she grips my sleeve, her chest heaving as her lips part.

Fuck, it’s like finding an oasis after weeks in the desert. Self–control around April was always a precarious concept, but now it doesn’t

exist.

I taste the salt in the kiss, but I don’t know if it’s just me crying or if she is, too.

I wrap my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her to me like I’ve wanted to since the moment I laid eyes on her tonight.

Her arms tighten around me as she makes a soft sound that drives me fucking crazy.

She’s right. God, she’s right.

I am masochistic.

Otherwise, why would I have intentionally punished myself like I’ve been doing? Why would I starve myself of the one thing in the world that makes me happy?

April’s hand fists into my shirt like she’s afraid I’ll vanish if she lets go.

I did that. I put that fear there.

I promised to love her forever, then turned around and shattered her heart.

It’s a little funny how, in this moment, I can simultaneously feel love for April and hatred for myself.

I deepen the kiss, tilting my head, letting my tongue coax hers until she gasps again and melts into me like wax.

Her body is soft against mine, pliant and eager, and I swear, I could die happy right here.

She’s kissing me the same way I’m kissing her–breathing me in like I’m oxygen, like she’s been suffocating and finally found air.

I let one hand slide from her cheek to the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair, angling her head to kiss her deeper.

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18:48 Thu, Oct 16

Chapter 186

Her whimper is my undoing. It’s soft and desperate and needy, and it sends a shockwave down my spine.

She presses closet, chest to chest, and I can feel the rapid thud of her heart matching my own. My other hand roams lower, grazing the dip of her waist, feeling the heat of her skin through the thin fabric of her dress.

“April,” I murmur against her mouth, half–beg, half–prayer.

She pulls back just enough to look at me, her lips swollen, her cheeks flushed, pupils blown wide..

“You suck,” she whispers shakily.

And then she kisses me again, harder this time. Hungrier.

Her hands slide up my chest and around my neck, pulling me down to her, as if closer could somehow be close enough.

The back of my knees hit the edge of the bench, and I sit, dragging her with me, never breaking the kiss.

She straddles my lap, her dress riding up, bare thighs bracketing mine. My hands grip her hips, thumbs pressing into her skin, needing to anchor myself to something–someone–real.

Her kisses trail to my jaw, then my throat, and I let my head fall back, groaning low in my chest.

Her name is a prayer on my lips, over and over, like I can’t quite believe she’s here, wrapped around me, letting me touch her like this.

She pulls back again, just an inch, and we’re both panting.

“I hate you,” she whispers, voice trembling.

I shake my head. “You love me.”

Her swollen lips tremble. “And you love me.”

I close my eyes. “April…”

“Say it.”

Suddenly, she’s off me, and the coldness of her absence is like frostbite.

“I’m not doing this, Nathan,” she pants, stepping back hurriedly. “You promised me you weren’t like your father.”

I flinch. “I’m not.”

She nods. “I know. I know, Nathan. You’re nothing like your father or Lucas. So stop this, before it’s too late.”

Lara’s words echo in my head. “Before it’s too late.”

I lean forward, bracing my elbows on my thighs. “I’m so fucking sorry, April.”

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18:48 Thu, Oct 16

Chapter 186

“I’m not,” she says softly.

I look up, surprised.

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She shrugs, smiling sadly. The strap of her dress is down her shoulders, and her hair is messed up. Her lips are so swollen; it’s all I can do not to kiss her all over again.

“I’m not sorry I love you, Nathan. And I’m not sorry you love me, too.”

I start to rise. “April-”

She holds a hand out. “No, don’t…” She takes a steadying breath and adjusts the straps of her dress. “I don’t trust myself to stop again.”

“Then don’t.”

She laughs softly. “You can’t eat your cake and have it, Nathan. You’re getting married tomorrow. You chose this.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

She shakes her head and reaches for her purse on the bench. “No, it’s not.”

My heart jackknives as she starts to walk past me, but then she pauses, her shoulder brushing my arm. “It’ll kill me tomorrow when you say ‘I do.‘ But I know it’ll kill you more.”

She tilts her head up and her tear glints under the moon like a pearl. “Please stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting us.”

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