Chapter 99
“Hi,” Nathan says softly.
I inhale sharply. His hair is tousled every which way as if he’s been running his hands through it, and he looks morose.
“Hi,” I exhale.
“Can we…” He seems to brace himself. “Can we talk?”
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I don’t really want to talk.
But I do want to throw my arms around him and kiss that look on his face away.
So, I compromise. I take Nathan’s hand and intertwine our fingers, pulling him into my room.
I close the door softly behind him, glancing at June to make sure she’s still asleep.
She’s dead to the world, cuddling Bun Bun.
I tilt my head towards the bathroom, and Nathan lets me lead him inside.
When I shut the door and turn back to face him, my breath stills. The en–suite bathroom in my room features a clawfoot bathtub, a separate oversized shower, a walk–in linen closet for towels and bath products, and a large vanity and sink.
It is by no means small–it’s, in fact, twice the size of my kitchen at home. Yet, with Nathan here, the space seems to shrink, and I feel like I’ve pulled us into a tiny broom closet.
I loosen my grip on his hand, intending to pull back, but Nathan’s hand flexes and tightens around mine, leaving me no choice but to struggle to breathe in the tiny, tiny space.
“What are you thinking?” His voice is soft, like a light caress against my skin.
I swallow. Like many, many times before this, being around Nathan makes it hard to think, so I don’t know how to answer that question.
He takes a step forward, his grip still firm on my hand, so I can’t back up.
“Want to know what I think you’re thinking?”
I nod.
He reaches out with his other hand and gently tucks my hair behind my ear. I close my eyes, fighting the urge to lean into him.
“You feel like an imposter,” Nathan whispers. “You’re thinking that because you weren’t supposed to be in this competition that you don’t deserve the experiences you’ve had, the friends you’ve made…me.”
I open my eyes to find him gazing at me intently. “You think you don’t deserve it all. And because it shouldn’t have been yours to begin with, you think you’re going to lose it all.”
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14:46 Tue, Oct 7
Chapter 99
My mouth drops open slightly, I’ve never felt so transparent in my life.
My surprised gasp bounces off the tiled walls of the bathroom when Nathan leans down, grabs me around my waist, and lifts me like I weigh nothing.
He deposits me on the vanity countertop. It’s higher than a standard counter, so the action puts us at eye level.
His hands grip my thighs, and he spreads them, stepping between my legs. I’ve stopped breathing, feeling little fires start everywhere his hands touch.
“Did I get it right?” Nathan asks. His voice is steady, as if this is normal for him, like he’s completely unaware of what he’s doing to me.
I, on the other hand, don’t trust myself to speak.
So, still mute, I nod.
Nathan exhales, and his warm breath fans my lips.
“Please say something, April.”
I close my eyes and force my airways to take in oxygen. Nathan’s hands are fiddling with the hem of my nightshirt, and every time his fingers accidentally brush my skin, my pulse spikes dangerously.
“You’re right.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but at least it’s steady. “I—I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.”
Nathan doesn’t say anything, patiently waiting for me to continue.
“I feel like I stole her life. Like I’m a replacement–and not a good one. If April Farrow had come instead of me, she wouldn’t have caused that whole ruckus on the first day. She wouldn’t have been sneaking around, seen what she wasn’t supposed to see and gotten a maid fired. She would have been a crowd favorite–but for the right reasons, not because she’s a charity case, Cinderella fantasy.” I swallow hard. “She would be perfect for you.”
Nathan waits a little longer, then says, “Are you done?”
I nod.
He exhales.
“Remember on the first day when you said you were going to leave, and I went to talk to my parents?”
I nod.
“That was when we discovered the error. The family’s PR representative made a mistake with the files, and you got an acceptance letter. But so did April Farrow.”
My brows knit. “What?”
Nathan shrugs. “Your acceptance was a mistake. But after she realized the mistake, she printed out April Farrow’s acceptance and didn’t properly discard yours. So, both were accidentally sent out.”
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14:46 Tue, Oct 7
Chapter 99
“But
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