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Sienna’s POV
Holding Noah’s hand, he gasped and gasped. “I want to see it!”
“Later, after dinner, okay? At present, get your toys sorted out first with Nanny’s assistance.”
Noah got up and nodded obediently. “Yes, Mommy!” he said, then ran towards his toy shelf. With a smile on my face, I observed his small back disappearing into the corner of the room, and suddenly there was lingering gratitude, love, guilt, all of it.
I gazed at the sky and memories of the past flooded back. The person I was once here with was now tired, lifeless, and engulfed in darkness, with dark eyes. Still, my position in the room was unchanged, but my heart had changed. No longer was I that girl. After coming home, I found myself with wounds that were healing and the courage that came from all my falls.
I breathed deeply, and the aroma of my home lingered inside. Noah’s laughter in the living room, the kitchenkeeper cries in their footsteps, and peace slowly returns inside me.
While I was listening, I gazed into the distance. The atmosphere was both familiar and peculiar. The living room was once chilly, quiet and isolated, but it transformed into something much different this afternoon. Noah brought a sense of vitality to every corner.
I laid back on the couch, but Noah climbed into my lap. But he continued to talk, and sometimes giggled at stories of his own. I brushed his fluffy hair, enjoying the experience without any distractions.
“What’s dinner tonight?” he asked without hesitation.
I lowered my head and smiled. “Mmm, what’s your meal of choice, dear?”
“Spaghetti!” he shouted excitedly.
I chuckled. “At least, we can confirm if we have the ingredients.”
“Ma’am, if you don’t, I can take you to the store for ten minutes,” our housekeeper said.
Quickly, I shook my head. “No need to worry, it’s fine. I’ll use whatever we have to cook. We can cook together when Liam comes back home.”
The mention of Liam’s name caused my chest to tighten. I understood that we needed to talk one day. Currently, my main priority is Noah. This little boy had been without the comfort of his mother for an extended period.
I glanced at him again, attempting to remember every expression on his face.
There were numerous moments I had overlooked, and I wanted to avoid them again. Hence, my frustration.
Our housekeeper went to the backyard to hang the laundry while I was still sitting on the sofa with Noah in my lap. The atmosphere inside was less noisy, but more tranquil. The ticking clock and Noah’s excited breath brought light to the room.
With big, star–shaped eyes he stared at me. “Mommy, I got off my bike yesterday! One of the wheels was
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unstable, and I almost fell. With great relief, he declared that the nanny had caught him off guard, just in time.”
Laughing was the only option. “Thank goodness for Mommy’s hero! But be careful, sweetheart. If you fall, Mommy will also feel pain.”
After a lightening of his expression, Noah hugged me once more. “But Mom was not present at that time. You wouldn’t be aware if I fell.”
His words were so innocent that they weighed heavily on my mind. I simply held him tightly, gently rubbing his back. “Mommy’s here, dear. Mommy will be aware if you ever fall again. Getting you where you need to be is the responsibility of Mommy.‘
Noah remained silent, only nodded slightly and put his head on my shoulder.
Although his body was so light, it held a weight, as if he had created ties between the past and future.
Minutes passed in peaceful silence. A soft amber color was applied to the walls after the sun’s setting through the window, reflecting off the floor. I observed the motion of tiny dust motes in the air and wondered how long ago I had stopped sitting down? Being present with my son meant not rushing or fleeing, but simply being
present.
“Noah,” I called softly.
His gaze widened to include my reflection, “Hmmm. When Mommy is done with work, do you want me to take you out?”
Without delay, he sat upright. “Yes! To the park! With Daddy too!”
I smiled faintly.
That name again, Liam. Noah’s words always made my chest shake. I had feelings of longing, fear and optimism that I hadn’t fully articulated.
Finally said, “Alright, I will invite Daddy too.”
Noah appeared to be pleased with my response. He shook his head and put his feet on my lap, swinging his legs
in unison.
“Mommy, please show me your drawing.”
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