Inferno Demon Riders MC: My Five Obsessed Bullies (by Kj) novel Chapter 121

Chapter 121: Broken

Tae/Computer Guru/CG’s P.O.V.

I can’t believe I yelled at her like that.

I’ve never felt so fu.cking ashamed in my life. I have no idea why I acted like that. I’ve never felt this angry and helpless in my entire life. I never claimed to be a ma.n with all the answers, but this… I can barely even wrap my head around this.

The moment the words Silent Divine slipped past Bly’s lips, I went straight into denial. I didn’t want to believe it. We’d just found out that SD stood for Silent Divine. I’d been sifting through videos of the torture that place inflicts on kids. Bly talked about whippings, beatings, and se.xual assault, but I knew how deep it ran. I knew how little those words described what she’d actually been through.

To think that Sean is so delusional too… He took one glance at Blythe and decided she was his. He didn’t care about what he did to her at all. Sean, Daniel, Havoc… they fu.cking ruined everything we had planned. They tortured my poor innocent Blythe.

And then I made it fu.cking worse.

I just couldn’t help it. I couldn’t believe that Blythe was trying to defend Havoc. After what he did to her? After what he did to us?

This sh.it fu.cking hurts. All of it. Listening to what Blythe went through. Learning that Havoc fu.cking lied to us. This wedge that’s between me and the girl I love. It’s too damn much. I couldn’t control my anger. Not after what she told us. Not after what I’ve already seen on those videos.

This wasn’t just some silly lie Havoc told. I know that he didn’t know what Blythe was going through, but it doesn’t change what he did. It doesn’t change the fact that when I got wasted and sobbed to him on my 20th birthday, he still didn’t come clean. It doesn’t change the fact that my brother, one of my best friends, watched me drown in sorrow and heartbreak when he could have just told me the fu.cking truth!

Havoc watched me spiral, knowing he could have helped, and instead… all he did was watch.

~

Flashback; Age 20 ~

Years. It’s been fu.cking years. Years and years.

Five years since the last time I saw her face.

Three years since she was supposed to be here, in my arms.

Over a year since she got married.

Almost six months since she went missing.

I have so many questions.

Why didn’t she talk to us after she left? Why did she let her dad change her? Why didn’t she love me anymore? Why did she break our promises? Didn’t she know how much I needed her? Didn’t she miss me as badly as I missed her? Why didn’t she come back? Why’d she get married to someone who wasn’t me? Why did she run away from her husband? And why didn’t she come here? Where is she? Is she okay? Is she eating? Sleeping? Is she lonely? Did she run away with another lover? Does my fireball even still exist inside her?

Another day of no answers. Karma and Psy.cho have all but given up on her. They’re angry and hurt. Just like me, but they hide it better. They deal with it better. I can’t deal with it at all. I feel fu.cking hollowed out. I’m so devastated all the time. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this despair.

I need Blythe. I’m supposed to be with her right now. Even if it means sharing with my brothers. But she should be here right now.

Why isn’t she?

“Getting hammered again, I see,” Havoc teased me as he slid into the seat beside me. He pulled Roxy onto his lap, making her giggle. I ignored them, throwing back the rest of my glass before pouring myself more. “Rox, babe, tell CG that you could suck his co.ck and make him forget all about his troubles.”

This has become a nightly thing for us. I drink. Havoc throws the club sl.uts at me. I always push them away. But for what? I mean, honestly, she never came back.

Sh.it… she really never came back.

Did I mean nothing to her?

I tossed my glass back and just grabbed the bottle. Fu.ck it. I don’t plan to stop until the bottle’s gone anyway.

“You wanna have some fun, Guru?” Roxy whispered in my ear. She was se.xy as hell. Barely wearing anything. Soft lips brushing against my ear. But it did nothing for me.

“Sorry, babe, think I’m gonna go get some an 1 mumbled as I stood up, faking the bottle with

me

“Yo, you gotta get outta your head man Havoc said after he caught up with me “There are other girls out there.”

“They’re hot Blythe, I muttered, not even looking at him

“It’s been years dude, you need to let her go,” he said.

I finally stopped and looked at him.

“She’s my everything.” I breathed out, the words making me wince. “She’s my heart, my soul…. You think I like holding onto her when I know she doesn’t want me?”

“You think I like this kind of torture?” I continued, ignoring him. “I miss her so fucking much it hurts. It gets harder and harder to breathe every single day without her. I… love her… so fucking much, and every day that she doesn’t come back is just a reminder that I’m not good enough for her. She doesn’t even care about me. She doesn’t love me. She just… left me like! never meant anything at all.”

“CG… Havoc said softly.

I shook my head, waving him off.

“I just want to be alone right now,” I mumbled before walking away.

And he let me.

I wasn’t sure how long it’d been. Hell, I wasn’t even sure where I was. It was dark and I was

sloshed.

“CG, help me out a little.”

1 lazily looked down, my head lulling to the side. There was a woman. She was pretty much carrying me, but everything was too blurry to see. I think we’re in the clubhouse, but fu.ck if I

know.

I blinked and suddenly I was in my room. I fell onto my bed, happy to be in my room. I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling.

“Jeez, CG, you’re wasted.” The girl giggled.

“Ahhh, what I wouldn’t give to hear her laugh again,” I mumbled, slurring my words.

“What?” she asked.

I tried to look at her, but I couldn’t focus. The room was spinning. It was dark too, but I could make out long dark hair. For just a moment, in my drunken state, I thought it was Blythe. I thought my fireball had come back to me. Finally.

“Baby,” I breathed out as I reached out and yanked her into my lap. I closed my eyes as I rested my head against hers. I had her face between my hands, and I was so fu.cking happy. “Baby, I missed you so much.”

“Uhm… CG?”

“Stay with me… please,” I begged softly. “Never leave me.”

“Okay CG,” she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. “I’ll never leave you.”

Just as her lips pressed into mine, everything went black.

That night was my biggest downfall. It was the night I knew I needed to at least try to pretend to be okay. Because it obviously wasn’t Blythe like I’d thought. It was Alex.

We didn’t have se.x, thank god. The moment she kissed me, I passed out. Didn’t stop her from stripping both of us down and pretending we had se.x though. Then, when I still refused to make her my ol’ lady, she told everyone I knocked her up. I told her we’d get a DNA test when the kid came out, but it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to claim her. I don’t care if she is a club princess.

Turned out that Alex wasn’t even pregnant. It was a huge fu.cking mess. Karma had to resort to desperate measures to get her to admit that we never even actually slept together. I knew I needed to get my act together after the whole thing.

But there Havoc was. Watching me fall apart. Watching me crumble. And he. Did. Nothing. He told me to get over it, that Blythe didn’t deserve us, that she wasn’t worth it.

How do I forgive him for that?

“She deserves better than this. There’s five of us for fu.ck’s sake! One of us needs to put her

needs first!”

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