Life is Easier If You're Handsome novel Chapter 309

“You mean... a lightweight version?”

“Yes. I need a suit light enough to wear on the go.”

“Then we’ll need to cut down to only the bare essentials.”

“Even that’s better than not wearing one at all.”

“Understood.”

A brief flash of memory passed through Jin Wayne’s mind.

The saying: “All that hype, and nothing to eat.” Maybe it was because lunatics always showed up and ruined everything.

He’d had that suspicion for a long time—

Which was why he brought the Batsuit along in the first place.

He just didn’t expect it would come in handy this quickly.

“I really hoped I’d never have to use it...”

BANG!

The moment Jin Wayne changed into his suit—

No, the moment Batman reemerged—

The very first thing he did was bring down the chandelier.

He caused a loud commotion to divert attention—

Then killed the lights, making it impossible for the clowns to control the scene fully.

Foolishly, the vehicles the clowns arrived in had their headlights turned off, which meant that, if they moved carefully, some hostages might be able to escape on their own.

And finally, the most important step—

“Have you found me?”

THUD!

He grabbed a hostage just like they did—to divert attention.

From the start, the target had only been one person:

The white-clad clown with the green hair.

He seized the Joker by the nape, and in a single fluid motion—

CLICK.

He pressed the muzzle of his gun against the back of the Joker’s head. A flawless ambush in total darkness. He’d struck at the perfect moment—before the clown’s eyes had adjusted.

“Shame you won’t be seeing my face tonight.”

“Woohoo! Haha! Batman, you’re hot! You’re on fire!”

But the green-haired clown didn’t seem fazed. Like a terminal patient convinced of his immortality, he kept laughing as he spoke:

“So you’re making yourself the hostage now? If you aim at me, mmm... instinctively, my dumb little cards’ll only be watching you, right?”

“Cards?”

“Yeah! Cards! You saw ‘em too, didn’t you? Hmm, I think the one you got was... the King of Clubs? The King of Luck!”

Batman didn’t dignify that nonsense with a reply. Instead, he kept quiet. The Joker squirmed in delight at even that silence.

“Trying to stall? Useless! The others are high out of their minds! Mmm, they’ll probably try to light up the place with bullets soon!”

He spoke like an actor reading lines from a perfectly rehearsed script.

“I know.”

CRACK!

Batman slammed the Joker’s head into the ground.

CLINK!

Then hurled a flashbang grenade into the air.

“Down!”

The drugged-up clowns, incapable of coherent thought, and the hostages, already cowering—

That contrast made all the difference.

Those on drugs, who couldn’t orient themselves, were momentarily blinded by the flashbang. Even if it wasn’t powerful, it was enough to knock out their vision.

“Aaaagh!”

“My eyes! My eyes!”

“I can’t see anything!”

“Just shoot! Shouldn’t we be shooting?!”

“Don’t shoot, you’ll hit us! Who’s taking responsibility?!”

Chaos erupted in an instant.

Batman didn’t waste the opportunity.

CLICK.

He drew two pistols. Equipped with suppressors, their power was drastically reduced—but in this situation, that was a benefit.

Thup.

Thup.

Taking full advantage of his superior night vision, he fired clean shots into the clowns’ shoulders and ribs.

Shooting other parts could lead them to pull the trigger. But this way—they couldn’t even lift their arms.

Of course...

THWACK!

“Guh...!”

It was impossible to dodge every stray bullet in a firefight. One round slammed into his bulletproof plate hard enough to crack the bone underneath—but he couldn’t afford to stop.

Pinning the Joker down with a boot to his upper spine, Batman methodically eliminated the drug-fueled clowns with his dual pistols.

Two faint beams of light moved steadily through the shadows, silencing targets one by one.

Every muzzle flash from a clown’s gun briefly illuminated the fear now etched across their faces.

Even chemically induced courage couldn’t stand against this. Gotham’s deepest darkness had returned—and once more, it stole away their laughter.

“Hahahahahaha!”

Only the Joker laughed.

Everyone else had fallen silent.

Thud.

As the last clown collapsed—

“Huff... huff...”

Batman gasped, exhaling ragged breaths.

—“Alfred here. Restoring power now.”

“...Do it.”

With the butler’s help, the lights of the ballroom returned—

Revealing the complete wreckage of the charity party.

“What a fun party, Batman.”

“Shut up. You’re going to prison.”

“Mmm, yeah, that’s right. I’ll be heading to jail now.”

Humming a random tune, the Joker wiggled slightly and pulled something from his coat.

A sudden movement. Was it a suicide bombing?

But what came out was just a card.

“Batman, do you know how to count?”

“...What?”

“Y’know... count cards. Like, how many are in a deck.”

“...What the hell are you talking about?”

“We’re short a few, hahaha! You get it? Do you?”

The moment he said it, Batman looked around in alarm.

And then it hit him—

“...Where are they?”

The mayor and the police chief—

Nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, did you find them?”

“Where are they?!”

“Whoa, whoa, don’t be so aggressive. If you scare me too hard and I wet myself... well, you really don’t want to imagine what happens next, do you?”

They were gone. Gone without a trace.

***

“The most dangerous moment of a journey,”

“is right before you return home.”

Just when you think it’s all over—that’s when the real threat hits.

The police, late as always, finally arrived to arrest the Joker. But in the power dynamic between the two, it was the Joker who held the upper hand.

“This is insane.”

“That’s not acting anymore—that’s a straight-up maniac.”

“How does someone even improve on something like this?”

The audience had forgotten how to shut their mouths. Lighting, CGI, body doubles—used masterfully for a flawless one-man dual role.

The most spine-chilling part?

It was genuinely impossible to believe Batman and the Joker were played by the same person.

“Haha, you’re all looking at me like that... You’re making me nervous. Should I throw in a joke or two?”

No matter how many cops bared their teeth or used violence, that grin never faded from the Joker’s face.

Still smacking his lips, he ignored the mess of green hair falling in his eyes—

Beaming under the dim, mold-scented interrogation room lights.

“Afraid they’ll die? Heehee! Hahahahaha!!”

He savored the moldy stench like perfume, eyes dancing around the room.

“Aren’t you going to try the ol’ good cop, bad cop routine? I think it’s about time I got a cheeseburger.”

“We see things differently.”

“Oh?”

“We’re worse than that.”

SLAM!

Commissioner Gordon’s voice had barely finished when the Joker’s skull was slammed to the floor.

The lights were cut—and in the dark, the violence poured in.

“Don’t talk. I’ll make sure you never speak again.”

“Oho! Hohoho! Haha! So you’re here now!”

So that was the “good cop” earlier. Still no cheeseburger, though.

Even while getting beaten, his expression never cracked. He grimaced, sure—but he never twisted.

Maybe because he was already twisted beyond repair. Like staring directly into chaos itself.

The audience was captivated by the Joker’s madness. And the story moved quickly.

The police chief and the mayor—

Now hostages, held somewhere, as the Joker laughed it up in a holding cell.

Batman pressed him for answers.

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