The Varkas Brothers And Their Princess novel Chapter 146

Chapter 146

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“And what does that mean, Belladonna?” Gianna asked, her voice soft, her gaze even softer. “For as long as it takes? That could mean all your life. Are you really willing to forsake your happiness and drown in guilt?”

1 slump down in my seat, burying my face in my hands. A weight sits on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

“I don’t have a choice,” I whispered, my voice creaking at the edge.

“And why do you think that?”

“Because I’m the reason someone’s no longer alive,” I answered, the weight growing heavier as I spoke. “I had the misfortune of living, so I have to carry this weight. Since I’ve been cursed to carry on, then I have to carry this weight with me.”

“Do you think Luca would want you to be this miserable?”

My head whipped up and I looked at her with my teeth bared and eyes wide. I didn’t know what I looked like right now, but I know I looked possessed. “Then why the fuck does he keep appearing in my dreams?! Why does he keep tormenting me? Why won’t he leave me alone then?! It’s been years but I’m still dreaming about him!”

She looked at me with pity, her eyes soft and I hated that look. Hated how she looked at me like I was fragile or broken.

“That is just your consciousness, Belladonna,” she said softly. “That has nothing to do with Luca. He’s dead and gone, so the only thing still keeping you down is you.”

“Don’t talk like you know shit,” I snarled, my voice hard but it still shook. I wanted to lash out at her for saying nonsense, but that nonsense was still the truth. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit.

Gianna sighed. “My apologies, ma’am. Sorry for intruding. I know it’s not in my place but will you at least see your therapist? Even if it’s just once.”

I scoffed. “That woman can’t do shit for me.”

“But you have to admit that she was a bit helpful.”

I gritted my teeth but didn’t say anything because she was right.

“Just one session is all I’m asking for,” Gianna pleaded.

I looked at her. Since the years Gianna worked for me, I’ve never seen her like that. She’s always appeared indifferent, caring for me in her own cold, distant way. But seeing her like this makes me think that maybe things have gotten worse this time.

But why will they be worse than when I lost him? Was I in even more pain now? Was it because of Kade? Was it because I couldn’t be with him? What did I feel for him to be like this? I didn’t understand any of this and it was driving me fucking crazy.

14:32 Mon, Oct 6

Chapter 146

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“Just one session.” I grumbled under my breath, but I have to admit that my therapist’s boring, long sessions sometimes helped, especially when she recommended something for me to do,

“Just one session,” Gianna nodded.

ફોન કયો .

Gianna booked the session for this afternoon so I had to take some time off even though I was busier than a bee. But now that Gianna had mentioned my therapist, I was eager to go see her.

Gianna drove me to her, and we rode in silence like we always did, but it was a loud mess in my head and my thoughts were all over the place.

Could I really let go? Was that possible? If it wasn’t, then was I going to spend the rest of my life like this? I wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but I really didn’t want to. I wanted to be happy so badly. Ever since Kade came into my life, I’ve been craving it.

“We’re here.”

I was dragged out of my thoughts and I looked out the window to see we’re already in front of the building.

I sighed as I stepped out. “I didn’t miss this building.”

“Liar,” Gianna mumbled under her breath, and I shot her a look but she already drove off to go find a parking

space.

I looked at the car as it drove away, before I turned to the building. Was I stalling? Why? I didn’t want to go in because I was afraid of what might be said.

Finally, I took a deep breath and took the first step, and I blinked and I was sitting in front of Miss Lucia.

“Hello, Belladonna,” she greeted with a warm smile.

I couldn’t help but return the smile. Lucia might say things I didn’t like, but she was a warm person, and when

I was sitting like this in front of her like this, I felt all mushy and I couldn’t help but pour everything out.

I could… almost say she was a friend.

“Hello, Lucia. I’ve missed you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t bullshit me.”

And Lucia was the only therapist who cursed.

My smile widened and for the first time in two weeks, I found myself relaxing. “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, right. Did Gianna force you here?”

I looked away from her, saying nothing.

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