The Varkas Brothers And Their Princess novel Chapter 153

Chapter 153

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I shook my head, eager to know what she was about to say. It seems that after Luca died, I lost all hope in being romantic or catching the smallest clues and hints.

All I knew was sex and alcohol. I was really hopeless.

“Because it feels like you’ll say anything he wants to hear,” Gianna said. “It feels like you’ll say anything to make him better. It felt like you weren’t ready to be honest with him. If I were in his shoes, I would be hurt beyond reason, and I would feel like you’re taking my feelings for granted. That you’re not willing to reciprocate. And when he asked if you were acting that way because you lost your husband or fuck you, why did you hesitate? Do you know what that seems like?”

“I didn’t know what to answer, okay?!” I shouted because her words were beginning to feel… overwhelming. “I didn’t know. I’m not sure how I feel towards him. I’m not certain what this feeling in my chest is. So how do you expect me to come up with an answer right then?”

“In my opinion, I think lying would be better.”

I shook my head immediately. “But I don’t want to do that. I want to be honest with him. I don’t want any more misunderstandings between us.”

Her gaze suddenly turned hard. “And you think this is better? You think hurting him this way might be better?”

My shoulder dropped. “You think I’m hurting him? Did you see his empty gaze? Does that gaze resemble what holds even an atom of feeling towards me?”

“No,” she answered without hesitation. “That gaze looked empty. Lifeless. You’ve lost him, Belladonna. I don’t even know why I’m doing all this. It’s pointless. You’ve lost your husband and your fuck toy.”

“Don’t say that,” I whispered, the tightness in my chest making breathing a struggle.

But Gianna wouldn’t be Gianna if she actually listened. “You’ve lost him, Belladonna. He’s slipped through your fingers, and your cowardice is what you have to blame.”

“Don’t say that!” I shouted, picking whatever I got my hands on and throwing it against the wall. It didn’t break, but it landed with a loud thud, leaving a hole in the wall. “Get out.”

She turned to leave but then I had one last question. “Wait.” She turned to me with an eyebrow raised. “What does it matter to you? Why’re you so invested in this? You usually mind your business.”

She looked at me with an odd look before she answered, “Because I can relate more with Kade. Because I understand him. Because people like us, we don’t always open ourselves up. We prefer to keep everybody at an arm’s length, but when we finally open ourselves up to feelings… it’s… it’s intense, Belladonna. It means we let ourselves be vulnerable and open. But what you’re doing right now? It’s a huge blow.”

She left after that, but before she passed through the door, she turned back to me. “Let go of that guilt and burden, Belladonna. Or it’ll be your ruin.”

“How?” I asked, my knees giving out and I crashed to the floor, hitting it hard. “How am I supposed to let go

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Chapter 153

of something that heavy? Please help me. Anyone. Please.”

But silence was my answer, thick and suffocating.

“I want to,” I whispered. “I want to let go. I want to be free.”

The days after that draining day passed by in a blur, my brain barely remembering how I managed to get by, and everything was just a mess.

I had been living on autopilot, barely getting through my day.

God, I was miserable. I was damn miserable.

“Kade,” I whispered, alone in my office, my head resting on my desk. “Kade, I need you.”

What Gianna said has been bothering me for days and I couldn’t bring myself to stop thinking about it. I knew he wanted to keep a wall between us from the start, but I was too stoneheaded to respect that.

My office door opened, but I didn’t bother to raise my head. If it wasn’t Kade, I didn’t want to see anybody else.

“Wow.” My stomach suddenly turned sour at the sound of that voice, but I still didn’t raise my head. “There have been talks going around about how the future CEO has been miserable, but I didn’t think it was going to be this bad. But this is quite entertaining.”

I just kept my head down. I was drained, and I didn’t have the strength for this shit right now.

“What do you want, Medea?” I asked.

“At least look at me when you talk.”

“You’re not worth the effort it’ll take for me to raise my head.”

I didn’t need to look at her to know what sort of expression she had right now; she was fucking pissed.

Well, this could be entertaining in some way, and I didn’t have to be so miserable.

But I still didn’t want to do this right now. “State what you want or get lost.”

“Documents. I need them signed.”

I finally raised my head, picked up a pen and I finally looked at her, but I didn’t bother to make my expression pleasant as I beckoned her closer with my fingers.

“Let’s get this over with.”

She scowled, looking like a witch who was about to place a curse on me, but she still came closer and dropped the document on my desk.

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Chapter 153

I picked it up, flipping through the pages and signing where my signature was needed.

“Off you go now,” I said, handing her back the document.

She didn’t pick it up and just glared at me. I looked back at her, looking into her eyes.

“You look like you’re having a shitty life,” she said after our little staring contest got too dragged out.

I nodded. “Yes. Does that make you feel good?”

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