[It also means losing the ability to fight back. Being made helpless.]
[For instance, in your past life, it wasn’t that your family didn’t notice something was wrong. They were simply ‘blocked‘ from noticing.]
[Likewise, you lost access to the memories and traits that could’ve changed your fate.]
[Things you were good at. Things you loved. The things that made you you.]
My chest tightened.
The image of the wallpaper–of the smiling girl on the screen flashed through my mind again, and for a fleeting sec- ond, I seemed to see a younger version of myself hunched over a tablet, stylus in hand as she drew.
“Why?” I bit down so hard I tasted blood, with my voice coming out shaky.
[Because that was the only way you’d remain firmly under Claire’s–and the corrupted system’s–control.]
No wonder.
No wonder that despite all my desperate attempts to chase freedom, I somehow only ended up more trapped–by mar- riage, by motherhood, by family expectations I never got to question.
Every choice I thought was mine… was just another nail in the coffin.
A bitter laugh escaped me, low and hollow. My heart ached so badly I wanted to claw it out of my chest just to make it stop.
“So I was just a marionette, then,” I said softly. “My only purpose was to be used, drained, and then discarded quietly. Obediently.”
May didn’t respond.
It didn’t need to.
I already knew the answer.
“I see,” I murmured, then straightened up slightly. “Is there something else you’re keeping from me?”
Again, silence.
So there was more, I confirmed.
Clenching my fists, I took a deep breath, suppressing myself from lashing out.
0.0%
18:26
Chapter 41
What would be the point?
200 LYOURT
May was the one who’d given me this second chance. It was also the only one who had answers–the only one who truly understood Claire and the corrupted system.
So, whether I liked it or not, I couldn’t afford to fall out with it.
So I exhaled and asked evenly, “Tell me more about these ‘restraints.‘ You said I broke them… that I brought them with me from my past life. What does that mean?”
[Think of it as the price of rebirth.]
[From the moment Claire began stealing your luck, the restraints took root. The more she stole, the stronger they grew.]
[By the time she took it all, the restraints were at their peak–so strong that not even being reborn could strip them away.]
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
[Because knowing and being powerless to undo or stop it would’ve only left you anxious and helpless.]
[Also, the rules forbid me from saying anything directly.]
[But now, you’ve found a way to break them on your own. Even earlier than I expected. That will make changing your fate much easier.]
I paused, clenching my fists as I asked. “So… are these so–called restraints all gone now? Completely?”
[Yes. You’re entirely free from them. Rest assured.]
[But be warned–it might take time for some memories to return. They’ll likely only resurface when you encounter something connected to them.]
I didn’t like the sound of that. But… better late than never.
As long as I remembered eventually, the timing didn’t matter that much.
“Alright,” I said, my voice more composed. “Thank you… for telling me.”
[Only doing what I can within the rules.]
With May’s voice fading into silence, I looked down at the tablet lying on the bed and slowly picked it up.
And just like that—like a floodgate had opened–fragments of memory came rushing back.
Of me secretly hiding under the covers to draw. Of characters I’d created from scratch.
Of a name.
My pseudonym.
35.2 %
18:26
Chapter 41
Longing Bird.
LILITH
Longing Bird.
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