To protect what's mine (Amalie) novel Chapter 38

Chapter 38 Amalie

Gretchen comes back a few minutes after Markus leaves. She had a pair of crutches for me to try out. “Alright dear let’s get these adjusted to your height,” she says as she starts fiddling with the crutches. She then hands me the pair. “Let’s try this height out and we’ll go from there.”

I nod and turn to stand up. “Can Uncle James hold you?” I ask Rose. She had cuddled up onto my lap as soon as Sam had dropped her off. He had apologized for cutting Rose’s and Calyx’s bonding time. I waved him off. It hadn’t been his fault the council came. Sam left with another apology, telling us he was needed to watch the wolves the council members had brought with them.

She smiles and nods her head. Rose scrambles out of my lap and across the bed, James is ready for her: the hospital bed.

as she launches herself from

I love out going she had become since we got out from Thomas and Marie, Rose had bloomed since she was able to express herself without fear. I smile and take the crutches. I stand up slowly, avoiding putting my weight on my left leg

“Okay, good,” Gretchen smiles to me. She props open my hospital door.

I give her a nod and attempt to take a step forward. Okay, I can do this. I can’t be that hard. It is, it is so much more complicated than I thought it would be. I immediately start to wobble backwards. Gretchen races back towards me and steadies me.

“Okay,” she laughs, her hand on my arms, “let’s try a smaller step this time.”

I try to smile and nod my head. I move the crutches forward, a smaller step this time, and then shift my weight. I wobble, but I’m not falling backwards. “Okay,” I say as I nod my head. I take another step forwards.

“Yay mommy,” Rose cheers from where she is perched on James’s hip.

I give her smile as I take another step forward. I make my way out of my room. I smile and keep moving forward. I can hear Gretchen behind me as I walk. Rose and James are following behind; I can hear them talking to each other.

Rose then is able to escape as I can now see her. She is smiling and dancing in the halls. I laugh as I follow her. She must know where she is going a Gretchen and James are both content to let her lead the way. Rose is humming as she dances in the hall.

“Let’s go to the garden,” Gretchen states. “I’m sure your mom would love to spend some time outside.”

“Yes please,” I practically purr.

Rose stops and smiles. She then takes off running.

“I’ll get her,” James laughs as he takes off after my daughter.

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I laugh and continue to hobble my way down the hall. Gretchen is laughing as she gives me directions to the patients‘ garden. It’s nice to finally get out of the hospital room and explore. I am able to finally see new things.

Goddess, getting to see new things is amazing and overwhelming. I’m glad that there is no one else in the halls right now. It gives me a chance to adjust to seeing new things/first. I want to explore and spend time with Rose. But I am glad that she is able to explore as I am able to process. I feel like everyone else is taking care of Rose as I adjust. I’m failing as her mother.

‘You are not a failure,‘ Beren growls at me. ‘We went through something that no one else should have gone through. handling it better than anyone else ever could have.‘

‘I know, it’s just hard,‘ I sigh to Beren. I fight off tears.

“You doing okay, dear?” Gretchen asks me as I come to a stop.

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Chapter 38 Amalle

“It’s a lot,” I say quietly. I can feel some of Mark and Cal’s anger. They are irritated with the council members. I try not to dwell on what they are feeling. I have my own emotions I need to sort through.

“Oh honey, you are so strong,” she says as she wraps her arms around me gently. Gretchen is mindful of my crutches as she holds

1. me.

I’m crying again. Gøddess, I used to have such a better hold and control over my emotions. Now I cry at every little thing. I feel like I’m being dramatic.

“Honey, you are so strong. They should have broken you. But they didn’t. You survived and became so much stronger. Not only that, you raised a wonderful little girl in spite of everything,” Gretchen whispers to me. “You are so strong and so amazing. Never forget that.” She pulls away and wipes the tears from my eyes.

I feel like crying harder. I’ve needed this for so long. I have needed people in my life that love me. “Thank you so much, I whisper to her. I am not able to hug her as I am still holding onto the crutches.

“Oh honey,” she says brokenly. I have a feeling that she is crying for me now. “Okay,” she says as she pulls away. Gretchen wipes her eyes and offers me a smile. “Let’s go find that great granddaughter of mine.”

I laugh at that. I think that Rose will enjoy a grandmother that loves her for being her. We continue on towards the garden. I am making better time as I get used to the crutches. My arms hurt a little, but I am able to mange.

I am nervous as we reach the door to the garden. I’m about to go outside for the first time in seven years. I’m about to panic. I can’t do this. In doors is safe. I just need time. Yes, time, I need more time before I go outside and see the world.

“It’s alright, you can do this,” Gretchen whispers to me.

“What if I can’t?” I ask.

“You can, because you are so strong,” Gretchen smiles as she opens the door to the outside world.

I nod my head and take a deep breath. I take a step and then another. I use the crutches to propel myself through the door.

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